Matte Madness: MAC Matte Lipstick in Fashion Revival

Items on my Recently Revived Pieces of ’90s Fashion list that make me kind of cranky…

Clunky Timberland boots (to their credit, I remember them being quite warm and good at keeping my feet dry on rainy days)Plastic choker necklaces (no explanation needed)Floral slip dresses (when worn with white baby tees)Overalls (when worn with one strap up and one strap down)

As you’ll notice, matte lips are not on the list.

That’s because I’m so feelin’ ‘em, dawg!

But the flakes on my lips aren’t…which is why I’ve been rolling with Hourglass No. 28 Lip Treatment Oil lately (note to self: this hella hydrating lip balm totally deserves to be an unsung hero).

So, MAC Fashion Revival Lipstick ? is there anything it doesn’t go with? I honestly don’t know.

I love pairing this deep, rich matte raspberry (it’s $16) with warm golds and coppers on my eyes, but it really seems to work with just about everything.

It’s only available for a couple more days until December 4 here in North America, so if you’re interested, better jump!

Available through December 4 at MAC counters, stores and also online.

Wearing Fashion Revival on my lips

These monogrammed Christmas stockings from Target ($13 each)

Tabs insisted on helping with the Christmas decorating this year, but in exchange for his listless, halfhearted help, he demanded that I get him a monogrammed stocking.

It’s Pottery Barn’s fault… He paws through their catalogue at night and dog-ears the pages with holiday looks and room arrangements he wants to recreate in “his” living space (also known as the house).

Anywho, I’ve been looking for ways to get similar holiday looks for less and found these cute monogrammed stockings at Target. They’re $13 each, and I think they’re available in every letter of the alphabet, including “T” for Tabs.

Conveniently, the green for “T” also matches his eyes.

Um…yeah, that was a very crazy cat lady thing to say, but since I went there already, does your pet have a stocking? Inquiring minds want to know.

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'Fashion Police' Will Celebrate Joan Rivers' Birthday In Style

NEW YORK -- "I'm having a great time," Joan Rivers crows before offering a brisk self-appraisal: "Everything is working, my mind is fine.

"The only time I play the age card is on planes when I'm trying to put a bag above the seat: `I am 80 years old! Would someone PLEASE help me?!'"

Actually, she only turned 80 on Saturday, a milestone that has prompted the E! network to stage a Joan Rivers "takeover": Its regular one-hour edition of "Fashion Police" (airing Friday at 10 p.m. EDT) will be a black-tie birthday salute, preceded nightly through Thursday by special half-hours (at 10:30 p.m. EDT) featuring guest appearances by celebrities and even victims of past fashion slams.

This means frequent-flier Rivers would soon be back on a plane for Los Angeles to tape this five-day marathon while she marvels at the success of "Fashion Police," which, since premiering three years ago, has only tightened its grip in the culture as a wicked hybrid of style and snark.

Rivers is well-served by her co-hosts Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne and George Kotsiopoulos, all of whom can deliver shrewd analysis as well as piercing gibes at red-carpet infractions.

But "Fashion Police" is perfectly tailored to the comedic skills of Rivers as demonstrated by her 46-years-and-counting in show biz.

Hear her hail Uma Thurman, sheathed in Versace at the Cannes Film Festival: "This gown is so feminine, so silver ? it's the Anderson Cooper of dresses!"

Hear her skewer a baggy, dizzyingly hued Alexander McQueen jumpsuit worn by actress Marion Cotillard at a Crash Magazine party: "The pattern looks like Precious sat on somebody's butterfly collection."

Sure, it's "Police" brutality, but Rivers and her "Joan Rangers" are never less than arresting.

At first, Rivers resisted the urge to do the show.

"I remember, I was in Vegas on a treadmill ? cause you STILL try! ? saying to my agent and (daughter) Melissa, `cause Melissa's exec-producing, `You're crazy! I'm not gonna do this! I'm not gonna commute!'"

Her mind was changed.

"We do the jokes, and we tell the truth, too," Rivers sums up proudly. "E! told me, `Whatever you want to say, you say.' We're having so much fun! And our lawyers are so dear."

Interviewed last week, she presides from an ottoman in the den of her vast Upper East Side Manhattan digs, a spread whose unabashed spectacle she dubs "Louis XIV meets Fred (Astaire) and Ginger (Rogers)."

It's 9 a.m. and Rivers, having apologized for being "only half-dressed," has presented herself in stocking feet and a chic, floor-length black-velvet caftan (part of her Joan Rivers Collection, she notes; she also has a jewelry collection).

She says her interest in fashion reaches back to her girlhood, when, still in school in New York, she had a job as a fashion coordinator at a department store chain, then another job where she assisted with the creation of Lord & Taylor's legendary Fifth Avenue window displays every Thursday night.

"If I hadn't gotten into show business," says Rivers, "I would have gone into fashion."

Not that any celeb should get her knickers in a twist over fashion feedback from any loose-lipped comedian ? or so says Rivers, anyway.

"When you're making $20 million a picture and the dress is free, do you REALLY care if Joan Rivers says you shouldn't wear a peplum?" she chuckles. "I don't think Julia Roberts sits up at night thinking, `She said WHAT?!'"

To say what she has to say about couture catastrophes, Rivers is happy to hop a plane for the year-round weekly tapings of "Fashion Police" ? just one piece of her on-the-go schedule that has seen no letup for decades and has its roots in her show-biz obsession as a child growing up in Brooklyn: She wanted to be an actress.

Only by chance did her definitive role become playing a comedian. Comedy was a way to pay the bills while she auditioned for dramatic parts.

"Somebody said, `You can make six dollars standing up in a club,'" she explains, "and I said, `Here I go!' It was better than typing all day."

In the early 1960s, comedy was a male-dominated game where the only women comics she could look to were Totie Fields and Phyllis Diller. But after several years of struggle, she landed a spot on "The Tonight Show" where host Johnny Carson gave her his blessing, saying she was destined to be a star.

A half-century later, Rivers' drive is undiminished. She never settles down.

The previous weekend she played three nights at Las Vegas' Venetian Resort.

She had then planned to go on to California. But she raced back East on a sad mission after getting a call. Barbara Waxler, her ailing older sister in Ardmore, Pa., had taken a turn for the worse. Flying into Philadelphia, Rivers reached her in her final hours.

"Aunt Joan is the head of the family now," says Rivers. "Look out! We're having pink flowers at the funeral!"

Rivers is no stranger to loss, including the suicide of her husband-producer-manager, Edgar Rosenberg, in 1987. Nor has her career, despite its towering heights, been immune to cruel setbacks, including her late-night talk show that launched the Fox network in 1986 but lasted less than a year.

"You never relax and say, `Well, here I am!'" declares Rivers. "You always think, `Is this gonna be OK?' I have never, in 46 years, taken anything for granted."

Except maybe the jokes she creates, tests and continuously fine-tunes. The jokes never stop. They can't.

"The trouble with me is, I make jokes too often," she says. "I'm making jokes at my sister's shivah. I was making jokes yesterday at the funeral home. That's how I get through life. Life is SO difficult ? everybody's been through something! But you laugh at it, it becomes smaller."

Even the terror of aging ? Rivers has always mocked it, not only with her self-directed jokes but also with her never-secret rounds of plastic surgery.

"But I have never wanted to be a day less than I am," she insists. "People say, `I wish I were 30 again.' Nahhh! I'm very happy HERE. It's great. It gets better and better. And then, of course, we die," she quips, chuckles and looks unconcerned.

How long does she plan to keep working?

"Forever," says Rivers. This time, she's not joking.

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Online:

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EDITOR'S NOTE ? Frazier Moore is a national television columnist for The Associated Press. He can be reached at fmoore(at)ap.org and at http://www.twitter.com/tvfrazier

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16 of Joan Rivers' Funniest Fashion Disses

No one dishes it out quite like Joan Rivers. The fiery Fashion Policewoman is always willing to express her opinion, whether you wanted to hear it or not.

Rivers may court controversy with her offensive opinions, but there's something to be said about the TV personality's commitment to her comments. Joan is a woman who doesn't back down from her beliefs, and even her costars aren't safe from the fashion commentator's razor-sharp tongue.

In honor of Joan's 80th birthday (!) on June 8, we've compiled the pithiest style insults and advice attributed to the comic. Now, we can't wait to hear the zingers she comes up with as a Wife Swapper...

"My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day."

"You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it."

"I said to my husband, my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs. He said, 'Blue goes with everything.'"

"I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'"

"The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud."

"Does fashion matter? Always -- though not quite as much after death."

"[Her] face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn."

"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware."

"I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore Angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet."

"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."

"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."

"I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented."

"Grandchildren can be so f***ing annoying. How many times can you go, 'And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink'? It's like talking to a supermodel."

"I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery."

"The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she is shopping."

More ladies who make us laugh:

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Just when we thought that the "Saturday Night Live" performer and Upright Citizens Brigade co-founder had left more than her mark on comedy, she goes and stars in "Parks and Recreation," one of the funniest shows on television, as Leslie Knope, one of the best TV characters in recent memory.

The "30 Rock" creator/star's legacy cannot be overstated: Fey was also the first female head writer for "Saturday Night Live."

Not only does Ellen's enviable career include a successful sitcom, a beloved talk show, an Oscar hosting gig and not to mention countless masterful stand-up specials, but she also gets to go home to Portia de Rossi. Best life ever.

Maria Bamford's unique, off-kilter stand-up, which features dimensions of characters rarely seen in a comedy club, has earned her a rightful place as one of the patron saints of comedy today.

As one of the longest-running correspondents on "The Daily Show," Samantha Bee remains one of the most consistently sharp and funny performers that give the show its unique edge. She also put out a book last year, "I Know I Am, But What Are You?"

You might know her best from "The View" and "The Joy Behar Show," but Behar started out as a standup 30 years ago, quickly becoming a fixture in the New York comedy scene.

New York standup and storyteller, Sara Benincasa, became a YouTube sensation for her Sarah Palin impressions during the 2008 elections.

Actress, comedian, and provocateur Sandra Bernhard is a bona fide comedy rock star. And if you aren't following her twitter feed, you aren't really on twitter. Check out @sandrabernhard

Leah Bonnema is a New York City comedian and actress, as well as a self-described "classy broad and loud mouth." If she keeps making us laugh, she can be as loud as she wants.

Desiree Burch is a classically trained actress, as well as a writer and standup comedian. We'd call her a triple threat, but she's so talented there are probably a few more threats than that involved.

The adorably wicked Michele Buteau has been delighting audiences all over the country for years. She appeared on seasons 5 and 6 of NBC's "Last Comic Standing" and has performed at Bonnaroo, Bumbershoot and more.

It's hard to keep track of Margaret Cho's job these days: whether she's doing stand-up, one-woman shows, dancing with the stars, performing burlesque or more recently recording pop music, the San Francisco icon is always charming and envelope-pushing.

The diva of VH1's "Best Week Ever," Michelle Collins has been making the rounds on talk shows and awards shows alike for the last few years. She recently won LOGO's NewNowNext Award for "Breakout Comic," and in 2009, Michelle was crowned ECNY's Best Female Comedian in New York and was featured as a "Comedian to Watch" in YRB Magazine.

Although relatively new on the comedy scene, Whitney Cummings' hilarious stand-up specials, celebrity roasts and talk show spots have made her a comedian to look out for.

You know you've accomplished something special when people stop you on the street and ask you to curse them out. Susie Essman's years on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" made her a household name, but her biting standup is what has made her a favorite amongst her comedy peers.

Negin Farsad is a one-woman force: comedian, writer, actor, director, and producer. She got her start while getting her masters in race relations at Columbia University by day, and doing comedy at night.

New York City favorite, Rachel Feinstein, recently appeared in her first "Comedy Central Presents" special. She's the only comedian we've seen who can go from embodying her grandmother in one breath and a predatory guy on the street in the next and be equally convincing at both.

A favorite on both coasts, actor and comedian Erin Foley has appeared in numerous roles on big screens and small, most notably as the furious fact checker in Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous."

Nominated this year for an ECNY Award for Best Female Standup, Marina Franklin can be scene in "The Awkward Comedy Show" film, which premiered on Comedy Central.

Comedian, writer and actor Jena Friedman has had her work featured in New York Magazine, Glamour and more, and she will appear this year at SXSW, Boston Women In Comedy Festival and the Glasgow International Comedy Festival.

In addition to being one of the pioneers of the "alternative comedy" scene in the '90s and starring in shows like "The Larry Sanders Show" and "The Ben Stiller Show," Garofalo distinct, biting voice is also seen in movies like "Reality Bites" and as a champion of many left-wing causes.

Garfunkel and Oates, the musical collaboration between actress/singer-songwriters Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome, will shoot an HBO pilot soon. The comedy folk duet's dizzying lyrical cleverness has impressed millions with their songs such as "Pregnant Women Are Smug," "Sex with Ducks" and "This Party Took a Turn for the Douche."

Helen Hong has been featured in the New York Underground Comedy Festival and has been a repeat finalist in New York's Funniest Standup competition.

Another ECNY nominee for Best Female Standup, Adrienne Iapalucci is poised to become one of the next big thing's in comedy. She was featured last year at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival in the highly competitive "New Faces" showcase.

Former "MadTV" cast member, Anjelah Johnson seems to have been touring with her standup non-stop for the last few years, much to the delight of audiences all over the country.

Nobody can deny that one of the best parts of the last few seasons of "The Office" is the sweetly naive receptionist Erin. Kemper has cool cred, too -- she's a UCB Theatre regular and is listed as a contributing writer to The Onion.

Karen Kilgariff may be best known for days on "Mr. Show," but if you haven't seen her perform live, you're missing something truly special. Her dry wit, funny songs, and lovely voice make her one of our favorite people to see.

Laurie Kilmartin is a staff writer for "Conan" and has been featured at Montreal, Aspen and Edinburgh comedy festivals.

LA Comedian, writer and actress Jen Kirkman has written for "Perfect Couples" on NBC, and E!'s "Chelsea Lately." She was also the narrator of HBO's "Drunk History" which received the Jury Prize for "Best Short Film" at the Sundance Film Festival in 2010.

Julie Klausner is a comedian, writer and actress who released her first book, "I Don't Care About Your Band" just last year. Her writing has been featured in New York Times, New York Magazine.com, and Salon.

Jessi Klein has written for "Saturday Night Live," "Michael & Michael Have Issues," and "Jimmy Kimmel Live." She was also recently featured in her own half hour "Comedy Central Presents."

Natasha Leggero is well-known from sitting on the judges panel of last season's "Last Comic Standing," but Leggero's stand-up and character performances in everything from "Reno 911!" to "The Sarah Silverman Program" are the stuff of genius. (Her podcast with partner Duncan Trussell, The Lavender Hour, is worth a listen as well.)

After winning Last Comic Standing, Kathleen Madigan has been a fixture on late night television and comedy clubs all over the country.

If you're like us and you continue to be impressed by the sharp writing on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," you can thank Morgan Murphy. But Murphy's well-crafted and self-deprecating stand-up comedy is truly where she shines.

Currently a staff writer for "Saturday Night Live" Christine Nangle is one of the rising stars of the New York comedy scene.

Tig Notaro is one of those stand-up comics who can't quite be categorized, but whose palpably dry act never fails to send audiences into scores of laughter. If you're in Los Angeles, her monthly show "Tig Notaro and Friends" at Largo is a can't-miss.

Kelly Oxford was introduced to a large audience in the most auspicious of mediums: Twitter. Her tweets proved definitively that sometimes, a Canadian stay-at-home mom can pack more sarcastic wit into 140 characters than Hollywood can fit in a $140 million movie.

You probably were a fan of Chelsea Peretti without knowing it, thanks to her early ventures of the New York City Rejection Line and the satirical site Black People Love Us. But Peretti has only continued to grow in popularity, writing for "The Sarah Silverman Program," appearing on "Louie," performing stand-up in sold out shows around the country and being named one of Variety's "Ten Comics to Watch."

Representing a disaffected yet undeniably likable generation is Aubrey Plaza, best known for her scene-stealing performances as a snarky comedian in "Funny People," a snarky barista in "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" and a snarky intern in "Parks and Recreation."

Caroline Rhea has had a lot of success on television, particularly with hit series "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" but she's always come back to her first love, standup.

Why Joan Rivers? Because she's funnier and works harder than comedians half her age, maybe? If you haven't seen the recent, brilliant documentary "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work," do yourself a favor and witness this comedic force in action.

Andrea Rosen is a NYC comedy fixture, as well as a very recognizable face from her numerous commercial and television roles. Her wacky stories and playful demeanor make her a standout whenever she takes the stage.

Schaal has stalked Flight of the Concords on HBO, lent her unique voice to an Oscar-winning Pixar movie, provided sharp social critiques on "The Daily Show," and even wrote a shockingly funny about sex with her partner. And it seems this is only the beginning of the Kristen Schaal empire of aborableness.

Sara Schaefer is a comedian, writer and performer who is currently the Editor of Jimmy Fallon's two-time Emmy-winning blog. She's also nominated this year for an ECNY Award for Best Female Standup.

After being a finalist on "Last Comic Standing," Amy Schumer has been performing relentlessly, delighting audiences large and small with her playfully dark wit.

Livia Scott has been called a "character chameleon extraordinaire," and we agree. The actress, comedian and writer got her start in NYC as a member of all-female sketch group Meat, but has sense launched a formidable solo career.

If you've never watched "Strangers With Candy," stop reading this slideshow right now and get to it (it's on Instant Netflix). Sedaris has also been a craftsperson, movie actress and, like her brother Dave, fantastically entertaining author.

Silverman has been performing stand-up comedy since she was a teenager, eventually starring in her own stand-up concert movie ("Jesus Is Magic") and TV show ("The Sarah Silverman Program").

Former "Saturday Night Live" cast member, Jenny Slate, is a comedian and actress and one of the superstars of the alternative comedy scene in NYC.

Her standup specials are instant classics, she was a riot on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Entertainment Weekly" called her one of the 25 Funniest People in America." Need we say more?

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