The $39 Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set Comes With Nine Nubbly Novelties/Diminutive Darlings

From the left, the Lilliputian-sized lipsticks in the $39 Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set: Countess, Agatha, Adora, Sexer, Wonderchilde, Bachelorette, Motorhead, Lovecraft and Hexagram

The nine little lipsticks in the $39 Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set make me feel like Shrek, man! They’re just so precious and tiny in my paws.

Suddenly, it’s ogre time, which is like Hammer time, except without the backup dancers and shiny parachute pants.

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set

OK, yeah, I’ve got that whole long-fingered E.T. hands thing happening, but really, my hands aren’t that big, and yet they seem like ginormous beast hands when I see myself holding one of these little lipsticks.

I’m starting to develop a complex.

The $39 Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set

It doesn’t help that I’ve already broken a few of these little lipsticks on accident. Yup, snapped the bullets right in half like She-Ra.

The nine 0.04-oz. tubes may look tough in their studded black packaging, and some of the colors clearly aren’t shy (especially those intense mattes!), but the lipstick bullets themselves are surprisingly delicate.

Either that, or I’ve developed Popeye strength, perhaps due to eating one too many Amy’s Spinach Pizzas.

Ogre girl issues aside, you gotta love these reds. Countess, Adora, Bachelorette (swoon!) and Hexagram just rock. Kat handles crimson in very cool ways (if she released a set with just all reds, that would be so bomb!) ? smoothly, and with a fearlessness when it comes to pigment. Expect to get hooked by these tiny tubes and end up craving their full-size versions.

The mattes last on my lips from 4-6 hours, and the creams, from 3-4.

Tiny li’l thangs

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick Set swatches from the left in Countess, Agatha, Adora, Sexer, Wonderchilde, Bachelorette, Motorhead, Lovecraft and Hexagram

Wonderchilde

Bachelorette

Some of the colors don’t really do it for me, like the (super patchy) pale nude matte and funky, iridescent ’80s purplish magenta, but you could always stash those in a drawer for next Halloween…or give them to a younger niece who wants to play with makeup (just don’t hand her the shade called Sexer, unless you want that tea party with Bobo the Bear to take an awkward turn).

The limited edition $39 set seems a little hard to find online, but it should be available now at your nearby Sephora store.

Finally, a break in the storm!

I haven’t seen the actual sun in days, but at least it stopped raining. For now.

The other night we had the whole scary weather shebang ? high winds, heavy rains, loud thunder and lightning. The storm even knocked down some traffic signs and patio umbrellas.

None of our old oak trees fell down, though, which is a big relief (knock on wood, no pun intended), because that would have been terrible. I sure love those trees…

I realized the other day while getting soaked out at lunch that I need a decent raincoat.

I do have a boxy black one with a hood that I got from The Gap about 10 years ago, and it gets the job done, but I think it makes me look like a tiny serial killer…

I like this red London Fog coat at Nordies, but they don’t have my size in stock.

Fashionable gals, if you have any cute raincoat recs, please send them along. This vertically challenged, waterlogged girl needs help!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

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Matte Madness: MAC Matte Lipstick in Fashion Revival

Items on my Recently Revived Pieces of ’90s Fashion list that make me kind of cranky…

Clunky Timberland boots (to their credit, I remember them being quite warm and good at keeping my feet dry on rainy days)Plastic choker necklaces (no explanation needed)Floral slip dresses (when worn with white baby tees)Overalls (when worn with one strap up and one strap down)

As you’ll notice, matte lips are not on the list.

That’s because I’m so feelin’ ‘em, dawg!

But the flakes on my lips aren’t…which is why I’ve been rolling with Hourglass No. 28 Lip Treatment Oil lately (note to self: this hella hydrating lip balm totally deserves to be an unsung hero).

So, MAC Fashion Revival Lipstick ? is there anything it doesn’t go with? I honestly don’t know.

I love pairing this deep, rich matte raspberry (it’s $16) with warm golds and coppers on my eyes, but it really seems to work with just about everything.

It’s only available for a couple more days until December 4 here in North America, so if you’re interested, better jump!

Available through December 4 at MAC counters, stores and also online.

Wearing Fashion Revival on my lips

These monogrammed Christmas stockings from Target ($13 each)

Tabs insisted on helping with the Christmas decorating this year, but in exchange for his listless, halfhearted help, he demanded that I get him a monogrammed stocking.

It’s Pottery Barn’s fault… He paws through their catalogue at night and dog-ears the pages with holiday looks and room arrangements he wants to recreate in “his” living space (also known as the house).

Anywho, I’ve been looking for ways to get similar holiday looks for less and found these cute monogrammed stockings at Target. They’re $13 each, and I think they’re available in every letter of the alphabet, including “T” for Tabs.

Conveniently, the green for “T” also matches his eyes.

Um…yeah, that was a very crazy cat lady thing to say, but since I went there already, does your pet have a stocking? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Matte Madness: MAC Nouvelle Vogue Matte Lipstick

Wearing MAC Nouvelle Vogue Matte Lipstick ($16)

There’s something so playful and happy about MAC’s bluish pink Nouvelle Vogue Matte Lipstick.

It’s one of those pinks that doesn’t take itself too seriously, ya know? Not like those other pinks that are all, “We are sooo fancy. Look at how fancy we are.”

If you’re a MAC Satin Taupe eyeshadow fan, get Nouvelle Vogue in yo’ life ASAP! The two of them make lovely music together.

Don’t expect Nouvelle Vogue to stick around much longer. It’s set to bid adieu December 4. Until then, it’s available at MAC counters, stores and online.

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Matte Madness: MAC Matte Lipstick in Pander Me + MAC Pro Longwear Lip Pencil in Etcetera

MAC Matte Lipstick in Pander Me ($16)

I wonder how many times I’ve typed “matte” over the past two days…

A lot, methinks.

Here’s a matte neutral combo I’ve been crushing on: peachy mocha brown MAC Matte Lipstick in Pander Me ($16), with creamy beige MAC Pro Longwear Lip Pencil in Etcetera ($20).

MAC Matte Lipstick in Pander Me (left) and Pro Longwear Lip Pencil in Etcetera

Yes, I’m in the midst of a pretty serious matte kick right meow…

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George Heymont: Putting Lipstick on a Pig

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It's fairly common knowledge that you should never try to put teach a pig to sing. Why not? It won't work and it's likely to anger the pig. Of course, that's never stopped anyone from trying to put lipstick on a pig and send it out onstage before a national audience. Sometimes the talent can deliver in a crisis.

Alas, sometimes the "talent" just can't do the job right, don'tcha know!

* * * * * * * * * *

Ever since the death of Divine (Harris Glenn Milstead) on March 7, 1988, there has been a painful gap in the cinematic genre known as outrageous white trailer trash farce. Some have tried to fill the gap (Mangus!) but few filmmakers have captured that extra special "je ne sais quoi" that was launched when John Waters started working with Divine and continued through to Paul Bartel's 1985 rip-roaring satire of Westerns entitled Lust in the Dust.

During the 2012 Frameline Film Festival, I had a chance to watch Love and Anger, the hilarious 17-minute short written by Brian Benson and Michael Phillis that starred Cousin Wonderlette and Lady Bear, two larger-than-life drag personalities who dominate the silver screen in ways previously unimaginable. This year's San Francisco Underground Short Film Festival featured another 17-minute short featuring Cousin Wonderlette (whose drag mother refers to her as "chronic obesity Barbie") and her talented gang of friends: L. Ron Hubby, Loretta Hintz, Susan Monson, Bettina Devin, and "failed actress" Martha T. Lipton.

Cousin Wonderlette, "The," Luis, and Chuck "Zits" Schmitz
take an acting class with failed actor, Martha T. Lipton

In You're An Idiot! Cousin Wonderlette continues to pursue her dream of an acting career. After taking money from her mother's wallet, she heads down to Martha's Acting Academy (located in a kung fu studio) where she joins forces with Chuck "Zits" Schmitz, Luis the hunky Latino stud (Jason Topete), and an aspiring actress who goes by the name of "The." Inspired by Martha Lipton's suggestion that they all enter the 2012 Tiara Sensation Pageant, Cousin Wonderlette and her colleagues try to follow their dream. Here are some stills from Brian Benson's hilarious new short:

Brian Benson as Cousin Wonderlette

Chuck "Zits" Schmitz

Jason Topete with Cousin Wonderlette

* * * * * * * * * *

Artists are frequently advised to follow their dreams. Sometimes they should try to follow their own advice. Composer/lyricist Paul Gordon notes that "The Importance of Being Earnest is a perfect play. It doesn't need music and it never will."

He should have stopped right there.

When I attended a reading of Being Earnest during the 2012 TheaterWorks New Works Festival, it was painfully obvious that the show needed a tremendous amount of work. The 500-pound gorilla in the room which nobody would discuss during the post-performance talkback was WHY anyone thought it was a good idea to update Oscar Wilde's 1895 classic to the 1960s.

Mindy Lym, Hayden Tee, Euan Morton, and Riley Krull in
Being Earnest (Photo by: Mark Kitaoka)

There was talk about the fashion revolution taking place on Carnaby Street, the cool costumes (designed by Fumiko Bielefeldt) the actors could wear, and how the music (by Paul Gordon and Jay Gruska) might reflect the sounds of the 1960s. But there was no compelling reason to update the play. As Gordon recalls:

"We felt that, with the right score, it could make a fun musical for those of us who love musicals. It already has one of the funniest books to a musical ever written. The early '60s presented a wonderful opportunity to show just how much English society had not changed from the Victorian era of Oscar Wilde. Also, the early 60s are fun. The colors, the music, the fashion. It allowed us the chance to musicalize the play in a way we couldn't have if we'd stayed in the 19th century. The challenge would be to create a score that in some way could mesh with the tone of the play."

That challenge was not met. Instead, the world premiere production of Being Earnest was most notable for its anemic stage presence (one often wondered if it would be wise to check for a pulse). Despite Joe Ragey's set design (which projected plenty of clip art onto upstage screens) and Robert Kelley's direction, the show just wasn't very exciting.

Cecily (Riley Krull) and Gwendolen (Mindy Lym) in Being Earnest
Photo by: Tracy Martin

The polite tedium which cast a very British pall over the audience was certainly not the fault of the cast -- Euan Morton (Algernon Moncrieff), Hayden Tee (Jack Worthing), Riley Krull (Cecily), Mindy Lym (Gwendolen), and Diana Torres Koss (Miss Prism) -- who did their best with the material they'd been given to perform. Mr. Morton, in particular, displayed a lovely voice and an engaging stage presence.

Most of the Gordon/Gruska score seemed oddly mechanical (as if it had been programmed in a synthesizer), with "Brothers" being reprised enough times to become genuinely annoying. All I can say is thank God for Maureen McVerry, whose Lady Bracknell lit up the stage in ways that were otherwise sorely lacking.

To read more of George Heymont go to My Cultural Landscape

Follow George Heymont on Twitter: www.twitter.com/geoheymont

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